I'll Never Hack at LOTS Again

I'll Never Hack at LOTS Again

lyrics by Mark Crispin
sung to the tune of "I'll Never Fall in Love Again" by Burt Bacharach

What do you get when you cause a crash
You only get frozen, and your files deleted;
And I feel, that I've been cheated -
I'll never hack at LOTS again

What do you get when you need a page
You only get EXPUNGE but no SX: directory
Or get told to climb a tree
I'll never hack at LOTS again

Don't tell me what it's all about
'Cause I've hacked there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of the queue, out of CERAS
I'm going back to my good old TRS!

What do you do when your assignment's due?
You find a fake account or two to borrow
So for at least, until tomorrow
I'll never hack at LOTS again