Gorin's Dream

Lieberman:     Hello?
Gorin:	       This is Ralph Gorin.  I'm being haunted!  It's Mrs. Stanford!
	       She was standing there a minute ago!
Lieberman:     What?  You must have been dreaming.  Tell me what you dreamed
	       and I'll tell you what it meant.
Gorin:	       It was a celebration of some kind.  Everyone there was a
	       flushed user I thought had been laid to rest long ago.
	       Suddenly, out of the closet stepped one of the grandfathers of
	       computer science -- Alan Turing.
Lieberman:     Turing?  How did he look?
Gorin:	       Well, for a man who's been dead for thirty years, not bad.
	       Anyway, he walked up to me and said

{Turing:       A blessing on your head
Gorin:	           Mazel tov, mazel tov!
Turing:	       To see your system wed
Gorin:	           Mazel tov, mazel tov!
Turing:	       To such a fine machine,
	       Beyond my wildest dream:
	       A second 2060.}

Lieberman:     2060?!

{Turing:       A clever thing to do --
Gorin:	           Mazel tov, mazel tov!
Turing:	       With hundreds in the queue
Gorin:	           Mazel tov, mazel tov!
Turing:	       And such a heavy load
	       I thought LOTS might explode --
	       To buy a 2060.}

Lieberman:     He must have heard wrong.  He meant the 2040 you borrowed.
Gorin:	       I'll tell him.

{Gorin:	       You must have heard wrong, Grandpa;
	       There's no '60.
	       You mean the '40, Grandpa,
	       On a loan from GSB.

Turing:	       No!!  I mean the '60, Gorin.
	       My great brainchild -- those little automata named for me,
	       On fast hardware they must be!

Turing:	       They're such a handsome pair!
Flushed users:     Mazel tov, mazel tov!
Turing:	       I wish I could be there!
Flushed users:     Mazel tov, mazel tov!
Turing:	       A pair of hardware twins!
	       The idea really wins:
	       A second 2060.}

Lieberman:     But you announced it already.  And you're NOT getting any 2060.
Gorin:	       I'll tell him.

{Gorin:	       But we announced it, Grandpa,
	       To our users.
	       We can't get funding, Grandpa,
	       From the Provost, Lieberman.

Turing:	       Oh!!  So you announced it, Gorin?
	       That's you're headache!
	       And as for Lieberman I say to you:
	       Gorin, that's you're headache too!

Turing:	       My heart will swell with pride
Flushed users:     Mazel tov, mazel tov!
Turing:	       When they run side by side!
Flushed users:     Mazel tov, mazel tov!
Turing:	       I'll like them better yet
	       If they're tied in a net!
	       A pair of 2060s.

Flushed users: A blessing on your land
	           Mazel tov, mazel tov!
	       To see your site expand!
	           Mazel tov, mazel tov!
	       Your hefty load and queue
	       Will soon be cut in two
	       By your new 2060!
	       By your new 2060!
	       By your new 2060!
	       Foo!  Foo!
	       Look!  Who is this?  Who is this?  Who comes here?
	       Who?
	       What woman is this, her bony finger shaking?
4.4:	       Could it be?
E.Electrolabs: Sure!
W.Wald:	       Yes, it could!
L.Lulu:	       Why not?
Guest:	       Who could be mistaken?
Flushed users: It's the founder's wife, come from beyond the grave!
	       It's the founder's dear, darling departed wife!
	       Mrs. Stanford!  Mrs. Stanford!
	       Mrs. Stanford, Mrs. Stanford, Mrs. Stanford!!!!
Mrs. Stanford: Gorin!
	       What is this about your system frustrating my students?
Flushed users: Yes, her students!
Mrs. Stanford: Dare you thus besmirch the name of Leland Stanford?
Flushed users: Leland Stanford!
Mrs. Stanford: Have you no consideration for our reputation?
Flushed users: Reputation!
Mrs. Stanford: Letting money interfere with education!
Flushed users: Education!
Mrs. Stanford: How can you allow it?  How?
	       How can you let my students waste their time?
	       Wait in the queue?
	       Bang on the keys?
	       Get no response?  Lord, how?
Flushed users: How can you let her students get no response?
	       Foo!  Foo!  Foo!
Mrs. Stanford: Such a learned man as Gorin wouldn't let it happen!
Flushed users: Let it happen!
Mrs. Stanford: Tell me that it isn't true and then I wouldn't worry.
Flushed users: Wouldn't worry!
Mrs. Stanford: Say you ordered more for LOTS than just a 2040!
Flushed users: 2040!
Mrs. Stanford: Let me tell you what would follow such a fatal wedding:
	       If LESS is all that's done for LOTS,
	       I pity them both!
	       This scheme will work three weeks,
	       And when three weeks are up,
	       I'll come to it by night,
	       I'll take it by the front end,
	       And THIS I'll give you low overhead!  THAT I'll give you low
	       	       overhead!
	       That's my will if it tries to get by with LESS!
Flushed users: Gasp!}

Lieberman:     It's an evil spirit!  Let it return to the mausoleum!  Let it
	       sink into the steam tunnels!  Such a dark and horrible dream!
	       And to think -- it was brought on by underfunding!

	       A blessing on my head!
	           Mazel tov, mazel tov!
	       As Grandpa Turing said,
	           Mazel tov, mazel tov!
	       We'll buy a new machine
	       Beyond his wildest dream:
	       A second 2060.

Gorin:	       "We haven't got the dough",
Lieberman:         Mazel tov, mazel tov!
Gorin:	       You told me months ago,
Lieberman:         Mazel tov, mazel tov!
Gorin:	       But since you're so appalled,
	       We'll buy a -- what's it called?
Lieberman:     A second 2060.
Gorin, Lieberman:
	       A second 2060!
	       A second 2060!
	       A second 2060!