Fifty Ways to Write Your Program

Fifty Ways to Write Your Program

lyrics by Bob Kanefsky
sung to the tune of "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon

"The problem is all inside your head," she said to me.
"The program is easy if it's done recursively.
I'd like to help you in your struggle for a 'B';
There must be fifty ways to write your program.
Fifty ways to write your program."

Chorus:	(You just) read the damn screen, Gene.
	Type control-T, Lee.
	Run it again, Ken.
	Then watch it and see.

	Wait in the queue, Lou.
	Edit the file, Kyle.
	No need to delete, Pete:
	Just listen to me.

	Push down the stack, Jack.
	Don't you dare come back!
	Go see a TA, Ray.
	And just let me be.

She said, "It's really not my job to interfere
Even though I see your algorithm won't work in a year.
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being clear:
There must be fifty ways to write your program.
Fifty ways to write your program."

Chorus

She said, "It grieves me so that you're still off the track.
There must be something I can do to get you off my back."
I said, "I appreciate that, and would you please explain about the
   fifty ways?"
She said "Why don't you just come back tommorrow night,
When I believe there's a consultant who's both good-natured and
   bright."
With that she logged out, and I realized she probably was right:
There must be fifty ways to write your program.
Fifty ways to write your program.

Chorus